Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn provides 'A Provocative Challenge to the Conventional Wisdom about Discipline'
Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to
do what they're told?"
-- and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them.
In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie
Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need - and how can we meet
those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.
One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved
unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw
up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as
punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive
reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are
loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of
powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by
leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's
precisely the message children derive from common discipline
techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to
send.
More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting
addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their
children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions
about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for
shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to
replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to
grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening,
paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best
instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
272 pages, paperback.
